It’s begun. I’m officially getting those “You look like you’re ready to pop!” comments from random passers-by. People seem to be amazed by the way I sport a baby belly. Some women get big and round all over; I tend to only get bigger (and bigger and BIGGER) in the belly, while the rest of my body stays the same size (18 pounds gained so far, thankyouverymuch). It makes for a striking look: no big deal in the back, holy torpedo belly! in the front. And people just can’t help commenting on it, like, extensively.
And they don’t know when to stop.
“I can’t believe you’re only seven months—you’re enormous! Your belly is just so big and pointy! You’re carrying so low—it must be a boy!”
I don’t know why some people think it’s okay to openly critique the way my body looks. It’s like pregnancy somehow puts my body into the public domain, opening it up for whatever brutal discourse spectators wish to dish out.
We wouldn’t say these things about a person’s body who isn’t pregnant, right? That would be completely offensive, even to the most tactless of boors.
“Gosh, your ass sure is huge! Wow, you’re totally flat-chested! Your nose is so long and pointy. Is it always like that?”
Guys can say some totally ignorant things, but ironically, women’s comments are often the worst. They really don’t know when to stop, and not only that, they should know better.
For now I’m just keeping a sense of humor about it all. I’m looking forward to holding my baby girl in my arms, and to once again have the ab strength to not need a forklift to remove my ass from the couch.
Hello, third trimester. Home stretch, here I come.
My big torpedo belly would really appreciate your vote!