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I’m Tired

by verdemama on April 4, 2011

I’m almost satisfied to leave that title and not even bother with a blog — I’m tired. Officially dunzo. Unequivocally kaput.

At T-minus eight weeks and counting ‘til D-Day, I’m starting to be overcome by that sleepy, achy feeling that happens at the end of pregnancy (or, happens to me, anyway). I felt this way last time as well, only this time around I’m chasing a two-year-old, who’s just now really starting to act like a two-year-old, like, in a major, scary way.

Case in point: Friday when we were walking home from our local park, Orion decides, mid-crosswalk, that he wasn’t done with the park, wrenches his hand out of mine and runs — across a major boulevard — back toward the park. My vain attempts to talk him into walking back home like a civilized human being were met with a full-on psycho tantrum. That’s when pregnant, crazy, exhausted mama came out. I picked him up, screaming, kicking and flailing, and carried him sack-o-potatoes-style back home. It’s about a block and a half walk, and it took several setbacks, a handful of escapes on his part, and much huffing and puffing from me, but I finally got him back home. And the day only got worse from there.

Example #2: We were moments away from heading out the door this morning for our regular Monday morning play date with a group of friends. Usually Orion loves these and talks about them all week, but today, at the last minute, Evil Orion emerges out of nowhere. He doesn’t like the clothes I’ve picked out for him, he’s hungry but he wants nothing I have to offer him, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to get in the car to drive to our meet-up. He also tells me, “Mama, away!” for the first time ever, as he shoves me away. (Tear.) I considered backing out of our play date but ended up deciding that I needed to go for my own sanity, so I wrestled him into the car. He shrieked the entire drive, but ended up having a great time once he got there, of course. Lil’ butthead.

I’m not sure what to make of this new, rebelliously über-oppositional Orion. I’m sure at least some of it has to do with his recent weaning. I have no problem letting him have a little more independence, but it’s the crazy behavior I have a hard time dealing with. Even when he’s acting out, he still wants me right there with him. This afternoon we were playing in the house, and if I left for 30 seconds to pee or get a glass of water, he would freak out.

I’m dusting off my toddler behavior books (which apparently I stopped reading at 21 months, according to my dog-eared pages) and popping in this video tonight to hopefully get some insight.

That is, if I can stay awake.


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