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Hello, Stranger

by verdemama on September 2, 2010

Me and my mom, 2007

When I was back at my parents’ home in Ohio last week, I happened to flip through a photo album from a few years ago (2007, to be exact) and I was shocked—SHOCKED—at what I saw. What had me so shaken? This stranger in the photo album, all bright-eyed, sparkling and vibrant, was none other than me. Me, looking about 10 years younger than I do now. Except that these photos were taken a mere three years ago.

T-minus 6 months ’til pregnancy, 2007

Fast forward to today, and I barely recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror, with her fuzzy hair, dark circles, lifeless complexion and bloodshot eyes. Not to mention the remains of the worst breakout I’ve had in years forming constellations across my face.

Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I feel like I’ve officially let myself go to shit.

Before I became a mother I exercised daily, ate healthfully, groomed myself to appropriate degrees and contemplated the important questions, like how late to sleep in on weekend mornings and still make it out in time for brunch. Now? I’m lucky if I get to brush my teeth daily and I’ve managed to trick my body into thinking four hours of sleep a night is perfectly acceptable. Which, in case you’re wondering, it’s not.

Out of all the life changes that being a mother has brought, sleep deprivation is by far the biggest problem for me. It’s a recurring theme in my life. I can’t seem to put myself to bed earlier than midnight, and the little whippersnapper likes to get up bright and early (or in today’s case, dark and early—4:30am).

I’d like to become reacquainted with that jaunty lady I once was—the one with good skin and clear eyes and a sharp mind. The one who showers daily and wears makeup when appropriate and whose outfits don’t look like a giant toddler napkin. To that end, I must become intimate once again with my good friend, Sleep, who I have neglected these past 18 months. I will reclaim said jauntiness, one ZZZ at a time.

So on that note, I bid you g’night. With any luck I won’t see the sun rise tomorrow morning.

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